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Nathan: I’ve got a hypothetical for you: what would you expect the punishment to be if you plead guilty to destroying evidence in a case where you were suspected of killing eleven people through manslaughter?
Holden: I don’t know but my mom would be pissed. Why do you ask?
Nathan: Because in real life, something like that would mean a lifetime in jail. If you were in a hit and run, fled the scene, and got caught when you took your car into a body shop to clean off the blood stains, you’d be in a deep shit.
Holden: I don’t know what you’re suggesting, but I didn’t do it, man. I swear. I wasn’t even there that night.
Nathan: Haha I’m not talking about you, and even if I was I wouldn’t tell your mom. I’m talking about Halliburton. You know, the company partially responsible for the Gulf Oil spill? Well, they destroyed evidence after the fact to make it look like they had less of a role in the disaster that killed 11 British Petroleum workers and spewed more than 4 million barrels of oil into our gulf.
Holden: So which executive is behind bars now?
Holden: I have $138 in my bank account. That’s crippling.
Holden: Not yet.
Nathan: That’s the spirit! But seriously, if we’re going regard corporations as people — and for those who don’t know, the Supreme Court does — they need to be held accountable when they commit crimes. And not by a slap on the wrist that amounts to a revenue loss that they make back approximately every four minutes.
Holden: So, if I follow, what you’re saying is that I have to start a corporation, build it up to transnational conglomerate status, establish a stronghold in the American lobbyist arena and then --and only then-- I can exact revenge on that motherfucker who cut me off on I-5 last Tuesday.
Nathan: I guess that’s one way of looking at it.
Holden: Oy.
Relevant: Stephen Colbert asking a Congressman if he would allow his daughter to date a corporation.
Continue the conversation below by telling us if you a.) think we have our heads up our ass or b.) think we said something intriguing
Continue the conversation below by telling us if you a.) think we have our heads up our ass or b.) think we said something intriguing
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If all college student conversations were as insightful as yours, I would be willing to go back to school, or at least sign up for your next installment. Thank you!
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